


So Careful

by Sopranos_only_gang



Category: Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: Canon Era, M/M, Post-Canon, andy mientus is cursed and we don't like him in this house, death mention, it may be dwsa but this was written w jbw in mind, melchior gabor is a good boy come at me, this is NOT written for andy mientus hanschen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-20 15:14:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18527656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sopranos_only_gang/pseuds/Sopranos_only_gang
Summary: Melchior looks for peace and quiet in the vineyard; he finds Ernst and Hanschen instead.(note: all of the signed dialogue is in bold, since italics don't stand out enough in my opinion.)





	So Careful

**And so children, the conjugation to any plural neuter noun will go as follows…** Melchior’s fingers moved to translate Herr Sonnenstich’s words discreetly, disguised by the front of their shared table so Ernst could understand them, once in a while stopping as the teacher turned around.

Ernst followed along lazily on his chalkboard tablet, scrawling out Latin words as they appeared on the board in front of the room. He was half-asleep throughout the lesson, only woken up by the sharp snap of chalk on his fingertips and a bead of blood forming on his thumb. He stomped his foot in frustration, not realizing his disruption until his deskmate and Hanschen turned in a unified response.

He shrank into himself, embarrassed, and Melchior patted him on the shoulder. Ernst's eyes met Hanschen's from across the room and he watched as the blond moved his hands together. 

**Are you alright?** Hanschen quickly asked, his eyes filled with concern to punctuate the question.

Ernst nodded in response and quickly looked down at the desk again, wiping his finger against his dark jacket. His eyes snuck back to the clock in the corner of the room, anxious to leave the stuffy building; anxious to walk a few paces behind Hanschen out of the door, and when no one was watching, stroll alongside him to the vineyard just a half mile away.

Since their relationship began, Hanschen and Ernst knew to be careful. Their love, in the eyes of all who knew them at least, was illegitimate. So as difficult as it was they almost never signed a word to each other between classes, never shared a desk, and only very occasionally stole glances at each other across the classroom. It was always a difficult affair for Ernst to watch Hanschen talking to some new girl every other day after the bell rang, to watch her play with her hair and bite her lip and pray to God he would kiss her when no one was watching. And he knew Hanschen never would, but sometimes the act would come to be too much and Ernst would have to excuse himself to stifle sobs in his throat.

The only place that was sacred to them was the vineyard.

There they were never bothered and always sat beneath the same oak tree towards where the farmland rolled into forest, Ernst’s head on Hanschen’s lap and often flipping through a new book. Hanschen’s hands were usually tangled in Ernst’s hair, humming in contentment although Ernst couldn’t hear it. Their only company would be the occasional bird or squirrel. Very rarely would they even see anyone who worked on the grounds, and if they did they would simply detangle themselves before he walked by. 

So naturally, when Herr Sonnenstich dramatically slammed his book shut and announced that lessons were finished for the day, Ernst nearly jumped out of his seat with excitement. He put his tablet in his bag and just when he was about to rush out of the door, Melchior tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.

 **Will you be alright for the exam tomorrow?** He asked, worry evident in his premature features.

Ernst shrugged. **I’m not sure. I suppose it depends on how generous my view of your paper is.**

**With the seating arrangements you’ll be far for certain. Ernst, you’re at the bottom of our class!**

**I’m well aware.** Ernst quickly looked past Melchior’s shoulder to catch a view of the doorway, his mood quickly lifted upon seeing Hanschen standing at the end of the hall. He nodded his head forward just barely, beckoning Hanschen to start their path without him. **Melchior, it’s a beautiful day. Why do you need to ruin my mood?**

**If you had half the mind, it’d be a beautiful day to spend inside, studying.**

**Inside is the worst place to study. I can hardly breathe shut up in my room with my books.**

**There’s no place quiet enough in this city… Although I suppose such wouldn’t really affect you.**

**I’m no authority on the subject, but the vineyard is nearly empty almost all hours of the day. I doubt there’s much noise.** In reality, his only knowledge of the sounds in the field were what Hanschen would describe to him: high pitched chirps of birds, the crunch of grass under their feet, the soft song of church bells ringing in the distance.

**Bordering the woods?**

Ernst nodded.

**Perhaps I shall pay it a visit someday.**

Ernst smiled at his classmate and again lifted his hands. **In the meantime I’ll be alright, Melchior. Perhaps while Sonnenstich looks away I’ll have Otto spell me the answer key.**

The lame attempt at humor had luckily seemed to calm Melchior’s nerves just a bit, and soon he and Ernst parted ways. After making sure Melchior saw him waving goodbye, Ernst ran through the doorway to catch up with Hanschen.

 

When he’d finally arrived at their usual spot, Hanschen had already made himself comfortable against their tree. He was writing and rewriting phrases in Latin in his notebook, no doubt more prepared for tomorrow’s exam than Ernst. The sound of his footsteps crunching on warm earth were enough to gain Hanschen’s attention, and he tapped the ground next to him to beckon the other student to sit down.

 **I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you today.** Hanschen quickly signed, staring intently at Ernst.

Ernst’s fingers flew briefly to his collar, a nervous tick Hanschen’s shameless flirting often triggered. **And hello to you too.**

Hanschen’s eyes flitted over the other boy’s shoulder, thinking he saw movement, but quickly dismissed it. His signature smirk once again graced his features. **What did Gabor want?**

 **Ugh, he’s the last thing I want to speak of right now.** Hanschen laughed a bit, and Ernst continued. **He was trying to make sure I was prepared for the exam tomorrow. What with being at the bottom of the class…**

**And why should he care?**

**Well considering what happened last semester…**

Ernst didn’t need to say anything else; Hanschen was already nodding gravely. **Of course.**

Ernst shrugged and pulled at the bag on his shoulder, yanking free his empty notebook to practice Latin for the first time since his last exam. **I promised myself I would be productive today.**

Hanschen’s face took on an amused tinge at this. **Did you now?**

**I need to make up for sleeping through every lesson somehow.**

**I must say, I’ve found the class to be quite easy to pay attention in, until recently of course.** He took in the minute way Ernst stirred at the remark and decided that he craved to see more of it.

Ernst’s pale skin was obviously stained pink, but he opened his book all the same and rested his head on his usual spot in Hanschen’s lap. They sat like that for what felt like hours, both enjoying each other's quiet company and working on their homework. At some point, when the sun began to make its course downward, he saw Hanschen set his papers aside and his fingers move to Ernst’s hair. Hanschen moved his hands more intently than usual, massaging at Ernst’s scalp, and Ernst’s expression was that of utter bliss. He too abandoned his book in favor of letting out a content sigh and allowing his eyelids to flutter closed.

Ernst’s eyes opened again when the golden glow of the sunset illuminated the face of the boy above him. Hanschen’s eyes caught the orange tinge, turning the usual baby blue to a hazel shade. The golden tufts of hair framing his face took to the light like a halo, and Ernst couldn’t help but study every feature like the detailings of some classical painting. At some point, Hanschen must have noticed Ernst’s staring, because he pulled his fingers from Ernst’s hair and smirked down at the flustered face resting on his lap.

**Enjoying the view?**

Ernst made a pathetic attempt to pull Hanschen’s hands back to their original place, and upon failure sat up to look at the other boy at eye level. **Immensely.**

**Funny, we’re not being very productive right now.**

Ernst’s eyes trailed down to Hanschen’s lips for a brief second, then met his eyes yet again. **I’ve had enough Latin for one day.**

 **Well that’s a shame, because I cannot possibly think what else we could be doing with our time.** Hanschen’s smirk only carved itself deeper into his face, fueled by the slow loss of patience in Ernst’s own expression.

Ernst scrunched up his nose and stuffed his books into his bag. **Well luckily the sun hasn’t set yet.**

**And what could we possibly be doing for the next hour?**

**I think I have some idea.**

Ernst initiated the kiss, just a soft press which ended as quickly as it began. He was sitting so his back was against the tree, and Hanschen moved to his knees so he could position his legs between Ernst’s. His hand drifted to the side of Ernst’s jaw to pull him in again, this time with no intention to break apart. His other hand moved to Ernst’s hair, tugging slightly, pulling him impossibly closer. Ernst hummed contently, moving his own hands to Hanschen’s shoulders, and the soft sounds had turned to whimpers when Hanschen started to suck on his lower lip. 

And then all at once, Hanschen jumped back, staring up. Ernst tried to pull him back by the collar and was met by a small shove backward. Hanschen had gone pale.

 **Hanschen, what—** Ernst’s hands dropped to his sides when he followed the other boy’s eyes to meet with those of none other than Melchior.

 

Melchior hadn't originally planned to go to the vineyard that night. He was busy with studying, and he was certainly too busy to go exploring the forest. But he had grown restless, overwhelmed with still-fresh loss and the stress of school, and soon he found himself wandering through sweet-smelling farmland. In the golden glow of the sunset, he walked and walked until the tame tilled land became grassy and tree-speckled.

That's where he found them.

Hanschen’s hands were tangled in Ernst’s hair and Melchior was close enough to hear that he was quietly singing to himself. The moment was perfectly serene, as if the two of them were in some other world by themselves. Maybe a few years ago, Melchior would have found himself disgusted with the scene, still indoctrinated with his father’s and his teacher’s words. Even a semester ago he could see himself slightly uncomfortable with the idea. But now, with all that he'd seen, all that he felt in the last few months... A soft smile tugged at his lips. He mulled it over for a second, not sure if he should approach them, but finally decided to move towards the couple slowly. 

They were kissing when he crept closer from behind the tree, Ernst’s hands gripping Hanschen’s shoulders and Hanschen holding him. He hadn't expected Hanschen to jump back so quickly when they had locked eyes, nor had he ever seen Hanschen look so terrified in his entire life. Ernst’s expression took a second longer to shift, but already Melchior saw his eyes well with tears.

Melchior opened his mouth to speak, but Hanschen beat him to it.

“Melchior, what are you doing here? They could have us killed. Me and Ernst, both of us, we could be killed. They could send us to jail.” His voice was quiet, holding an edge of anxiety which Melchior never thought possible of him.

“Hanschen, I—”

“You of all people know what they'll do to us. What they do to people who don't follow their rules. Love if it's not in their image. They'll make sure we never see each other again. You can't tell a soul.” Melchior’s eyes darted between Hanschen and Ernst.

“Hanschen.” Melchior tried to cut in again, raising his voice slightly.

Hanschen didn't seem to hear him. “You must understand. Melchior, I love him. I don't know what I’d do if they took him away from me, I don't want them to take him away. You can't tell anyone. Not a single person, please, Melchior—”

“Hanschen.” Melchior was yelling now, and Hanschen jumped. He was still sitting and combined with the fact that he was currently curling into himself, he looked smaller than Melchior had ever seen him before. His eyes were wide with fear, and he pulled Ernst close to him. It was only now Melchior noticed Ernst was crying, trying to squint through his tears to read Melchior’s and Hanschen's lips. Melchior felt a pang of guilt in his chest for raising his voice and raised his hands to translate his words. 

“What reason have I to judge you? Who have I to tell?” Melchior’s voice softened, and he crouched to sit down in front of Hanschen and Ernst. “I’m happy for you two. Truly, I'm happy to know that two people can find love in such a dark world.”

Hanschen let out a sigh of relief, and his shoulders dropped. “So you promise, you won't speak a word of this to anyone?” His fingers moved along as he spoke, and Melchior couldn't help but notice how shaky they were, devoid of their usual grace.

Melchior nodded. “I swear, I won't tell a soul. Please, just... be careful. Take care of each other. If you ever need someone to talk to... I'm always available.”

Ernst wiped his eyes with his sleeve. Hanschen pulled Ernst into a hug and pressed a kiss into his hair. Melchior sat in front of them, observing them quietly, and eventually Hanschen pulled himself away from Ernst. **We’re alright.** A gentle smile graced Hanschen’s lips, and Ernst laughed softly with tears still forming in his eyes. The sound was thick with relief and exhaustion, and he fell back into Hanschen once again. Hanschen ran a hand through Ernst’s hair gently. 

Melchior stood to leave, interrupted by the soft call of his name.

Hanschen’s voice was soft, with a tenderness that Melchior found completely foreign. “Melchior... Thank you.” He paused for a second. “You've grown.”

Melchior’s smile turned sad. “Someone must.”

“It shouldn't have had to be you.”

“Between the adults and their bibles, between Moritz and Wendla... Perhaps it’s what I deserve.” Melchior shot Hanschen a final look, waved to Ernst, whose head was still buried in Hanschen’s shoulder, and left.

-.

The darkness completely enveloped Ernst and Hanschen, now walking back from the vineyard like every night. The moon lit their path, only about ten minutes away from Ernst’s house. Ernst’s pace slowed as he tapped Hanschen’s shoulder. 

**How should we know that we can trust him?**

Hanschen thought for a moment. **I don't know why, but... I think he's the one person we can trust. He would never go running to any adult, and he really has grown up.**

**I couldn't catch everything you were saying to him, you were talking so fast... But there was one thing.**

Hanschen’s eyebrow quirked up in curiosity. **And what is that?**

**You told him you love me.**

**And I do, very much so.**

Ernst smiled shyly. **You've never said... I mean I know, not with those words, but I know, I just…**

Hanschen stopped walking. **I've never told you… Ernst, I love you more than words could say. More than anything in this entire world. You are the most beautiful person in the entire world, and I don't know how I could possibly be more lucky.**

Ernst choked on a sob, covering his mouth with his hand. Even with his mouth covered, his crinkled eyes revealed how wide he was smiling.

Hanschen was smiling too, and he silently thanked God for the emptiness of the street they were on. It was a bittersweet reminder that everything in the situation was illegal: even the very language they were speaking. **One day, we’ll be far away from here. We’ll move to the countryside, we’ll have a quaint little farm and I promise we’ll be happy. None of the adults will be around to hurt us, we’ll provide for ourselves. We’ll be alone together, away from this darkness, and we’ll be safe.**

Ernst nodded hard, pulling Hanschen into a hug. Hanschen held him close, inhaling deeply. He’d almost lost him today; he hadn't even told him how much he loved him. He silently promised himself that he’d never let Ernst forget. And one day, no matter how hard, no matter how seemingly impossible, they'd get out of there. They'd be happy.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! please leave me comments i'm starving.  
> also my tumblr is @i-dont-do--sadness so go follow that.  
> user @hanschhen edited this, go follow her as well! her ao3 is d_v_whelan.


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